puppyresidue: (Default)
2016-06-26 05:27 pm
Entry tags:

I know not what I do.

Doesn’t really mean you should forgive me, though.I’m kind of cold these days, but despite that, I’m still a Cancer at heart. I still feel, and I feel violently. Being cold is probably just an automatic and innate means of coping and convincing myself that I do not care when I lose hope or whisper farewell to my formerly-vivid imagination. As you can imagine, this is not a very effective method of dealing with life. Something is on the fritz.

Often it causes trouble. People get upset with me. People even feel neglected by me sometimes, which is a surprise to someone who feels that they have very little impact on the world around them. It seems I hurt people with what I do, but I can’t quite put my finger on what I’m really trying to do, or why I’m trying to do it.

I remain convinced that people should probably back up a bit and put their emotional investments into someone else’s heart-bank. I’m seemingly incapable of maintaining positive relationships, be it friends or more-than-friends.

Truth be told, I’m kind of a manipulative prick.